Getting More Serious - Advanced Techniques
You've gotten over the hurdle of sex with your partner, and are now comfortable doing it. You enjoy it, you know what to expect and how the basics work. Now that you're no longer paranoidly nervous about "The act" it's time to start really enjoying it! Here are some ways to have fun with each other.
Time of Day
Most men are naturally primed for sex when they wake up in the morning. If you tend to have sex in the evening, try getting a good night´s sleep instead and waking up bright and early. You might find that it´s a different experience on a different schedule. Body Paints
Want something fun and different? Grab some (obviously non-toxic) body paints. Spend an evening on towels using each other as a live canvas. You´ll find your artistic abilities are greatly enhanced! You can get chocolate body paints for a truly great evening!
It´s been played up in movies, but it´s really an exercise in trust. Blindfold your partner and find an arrangement of foods you feel they will enjoy. Choose them with different textures, aromas, and flavors. Feed each one to your partner, letting him or her savor your choices.
Choose a scent
People´s sense of smell is extremely powerful. Choose a scent you enjoy a lot, and wear it all the time. Your partner will come to associate that smell with you, and will think of you each time he/she smells it. When your partner comes near you and smells it, it will heighten the sense that you are his mate.
Different Perfume for a Day
People pay attention to breaks in routines. If you get used to certain fabrics, scents and lights when you tend to make love, try changing just one element. Get your lover used to a certain scent, and then change it to something radically different for a night. Your partner will perk up, and be interested by this change.
Clothes Make the Person
When you dress to attract someone, wear clothes that make you feel great about yourself. Don´t wear too-tight items or items that remind you of old boyfriends or girlfriends. Find clothes that fit *you* well, the way you are, and that make you feel wonderful. That attitude will radiate.
Bed of Roses
Buy rose petals at your local florist (some will sell only the petals--if yours won´t buy two dozen roses). Before your mate comes home for the day, cover your bed in rose petals. Dress in something sexy (or nothing at all!). Then leave a note by the door telling your partner to meet you in the bedroom (or call sweetly to him or her when they come in). You know what comes next!
Note: this is best done during the Spring and Summer when roses are cheaper (this will be really expensive just before Valentine´s Day)
Sheets and Texture
Sheets may seem like a meaningless thing, but they are after all often the baseline for your encounter. Try changing to a different style - if you normally use cotton, try silk. If you´re a silk lover, switch to cotton. The new texture against your bodies might be quite interesting!
Keep an open mind about new ways to have fun. If you´re falling into a rut, get an instructional video or DVD and watch it together. There´s probably something in it you haven´t tried, and you can always laugh yourself silly at their acting!
Lingerie for Every Day
Some people only put on lingerie for 5 minutes when trying to entice their partner. Lingerie is really "underwear" - think of it like that. Wear a teddy under your work clothes, and flash a glimpse to your partner when you are ready to leave for work. Wear something slinky to bed as a matter of course. It´ll help you feel desireable, and could spark intimacy when you weren´t expecting it.
Take your man to Victoria´s Secret or Frederick´s of Hollywood (or your favorite lingerie shop). Some men are squeamish about going in lingerie shops. Whisper your plans to him: you´ll take him into the dressing room and model any piece of lingerie he likes. This should help him get over any shyness he may feel. For the bold ones, you might sneak in a quickie while in the dressing room!
Men: if you´re really good, you´ll buy her one of the pieces of lingerie you both liked (even better: buy it while she´s not watching and present it to her at another time)
Take him out to dinner, anywhere he wants. During dinner, tease him a little, so he´ll anticipate what will happen later on. Excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and take off your panties ( make sure you wear a skirt or dress ). Back at the table slip him the panties under the tablecloth and give him a LOOK. He´s sure to get the message and you´ll enjoy watching his reaction.
Pornography can be both a good and bad thing in a relationship - it all depends on how its used. If a couple uses pornography to enhance their sex life, this can be a great sexual aid.
However, if one partner looks at pornography a lot on his or her own, it can lead that partner to view people as sexual objects, and as most partners don´t look like models, it can make that partner less and less happy with the "reality" they live with.
If you and your partner have an issue with pornography, sit down and talk about it, and listen to each others views. Work out a solution that you can both live with.
The Letter Game
Have your partner lie down or lean forward, and slowly track letters on his or her back. This will make your partner *extremely* aware of your touch, and if you decide to give massages afterwards, you´ll find that your partner is much more sensitive.
Try a blindfold
This is a trust-building exercise - blindfold your partner and then gently tease him or her. Whenever doing a trust exercise it´s important to have a code word that means "stop right now", so that if at any point your partner feels uncomfortable things can be brought to a halt. Take turns with the blindfold, and have some fun!