Dating Advice - Finding a Date
The First Impression
A first impression is important, but it should not be everything. Often someone who does not strike you as perfect at the first sight can become your perfect match if you can see past your prejudices. Often your first reaction to someone is based on how much they look like another person you love and hate, and isn´t related to that individual at all. Take the time to find out what a person is really like before making a firm decision.
What Attracts a Person?
There´s no single thing that would attract a person to you. Every person has different triggers. Some are visual, and long for someone 6´ tall, or someone with jet black hair, or with a muscular build. Some are emotional, and want someone that´s snuggly, or someone that´s proud and powerful, or someone that´s outgoing and bubbly. Some are even mentally triggered, and want someone that loves opera music, or loves reading science fiction, or loves birding.
If you are interested in someone, make it your mission to find out what that person´s triggers are. See if you match up with what he/she is looking for, and work from there!
Accept the Hurdles
If you are finding yourself drawn to someone of a different race or religion, do not let that fact put you off of the relationship. Many, many people have found soulmates that did not exactly match with their own background. Realize that there might be hurdles to overcome, but that together you can easily surmount them.
It´s tempting when filling out the dating site questionnaires to be overly optomistic, in the hopes of "luring in the perfect mate." Really, though, wouldn´t your perfect mate love you just the way you are now? Be honest about what you really like to do, what you´re like, what you enjoy. You´ll still get people writing you - but now the people will be the ones really interested in what you have to offer.
Find a Friend First
Looking for a "lifetime perfect partner" is too large a job to take on in one step. First, look for a fun person that you can spend time with. Concentrate on that one task. If you can find someone that you enjoy being with, and want to be with, then you can worry about moving on to subsequent steps.
It´s hard to be on your own if you´d rather have a boyfriend or girlfriend. Make sure you are giving people a chance to find you! Put your information up on dating sites, go out and do the things you enjoy in a social setting. If you like playing darts, you´re not likely to find a dart-throwing partner by sitting home alone. Make the effort to be "findable" and you´ll see that you will soon be "found".
What are you REALLY looking for?
Sit down when you have a few hours of quiet time, and write down what qualities are really important to you in a mate. Then look at the things you have written down, and examine each one. Are they *really* important, or are things that your parents or friends have *told* you are important?
If you wrote down things like "money" or "handsome", could you be happy with someone that was perfect for you in other ways, but was not rich or gorgeous? Be sure that you are not excluding your soulmate because of preconceptions others have convinced you are very important.