Passive Ex-Emo Girl: Torture is Pleasure

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Um, hi there. I am a 16yr old (17 in 2 months time) girl who has a boyfriend of 19yrs. We have known each other for 4yrs and have been in a "proper" bf-gf relationship for over a month. Though, we were kinda like "friends with benefits" before. For interest sake, let's call him "Tao".

Tao and I have always been close. We moved from being friends to being friends with benefits extremely quickly. Although the fast paced scared me at first, it has become a norm. Now that we're in a proper relationship, it doesn't scare me at all.

We are very intimate with each other. We'll kiss, French kiss and the works. When we're alone, we make do with our surroundings. At his place, we'll be all romantic with candles and incense. If we're in a parking lot, we'll find an abandoned stairway.

~Scenario 1~

Now, if there's a table or bed available, Tao would always lay me down and go as far as fingering me up to 4 fingers and giving me oral sex. Thing is, I get turned on very quickly by him and even the softest whisper from him drives me insane. Buuuut! Usually when he hits my sensitive spots, I get extremely vocal and VERY loud. I'm pretty sure someone could hear me a good couple of blocks away. Is it natural for a girl to scream/moan this loud just by being fingered?

~Scenario 2~

As my title says, I'm an ex-hardcore emo. I still dress in black, but I don't cut anymore. Although, I don't do that, I find a bit of pain very pleasurable. I'm a very passive person, so I don't fight back. Sometimes, when Tao and I are intimate, I get hurt (like his nails would accidentally scratch me if he fingers me, even if they're short) or the position we're in strains my muscles. Do you think my past of being emo has something to do with this? How do I explain to Tao that I actually like the pain to a certain extent?

~Scenario 3~

Okay, last question. I have fantasies, and I have A LOT of them. I'm used to Role Playing in real life, but Tao doesn't like the idea. I own a collar, and have always been saving it for "that special day" (whatever that means :P). Thing is, I like the idea of "being owned" or "having a master". Tao, however, refuses to think of placing the collar around my neck or treat me lesser than his equal. How can I introduce the idea of this to him? That I like being owned? How can I encourage him to at least experiment with this concept?

Sorry that it's so long ^_^. I have a lot of questions
Thanks a lot, George!!! Advice
Interesting questions :-)

1. Screaming/moaning is natural for some girls. Being quiet is natural for others. Don't worry about it.

2. Just tell him that lots of people enjoy a little pain in sex. Again, don't worry about it.

3. Keep asking Tao from time to time. He will be more willing to experiment after you two get to know each other better.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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