Does he want a relationship, or just sex?

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Okay, this past school year (I've graduated and am now in college), a guy that's been in my class for the past 13 years decides he likes me. But instead of just asking me out, he IMed my best friend and asked her if she thought I'd date him, to which she replied "I don't know, but I don't really think so . . ." because he specifically told her he wanted to have sex with me, so her automatic thought was "Player". After a couple of months of flirting with me, he asked her again, and she still said "No", although by now I did like him, but was to afraid to make the first move. I can only assume she said it because she thought he was still after sex (he's a major "party boy" and I was the NHS goodie-two-shoes). So, after not making any "progress" (still bearing in mind he NEVER asked me anything) he started dating a . . . for lack of a better word "easy" freshman.

Then a week or so ago, she cheated on him with 3 guys at a wild high school party and he heard about it and broke up with her.

A couple days after the breakup, I get an IM from him and he tells all about the incident and that he's broken up. I talked to him a couple times after that and when he came home for the weekend, he and I had another conversation and he asks me "Do you wanna hang out?" I asked him when, and he said "Now". It was 2 in the MORNING. He wanted me to sneak out and hangout with him at his house. When I accused him of just wanting to get laid he replied "Busted." Then he asked if I wanted to hang out the next day. I asked him if "hang out" meant sex to him, to which he replied "I just wanna hang out and whatever happens, happens." This freaked me out a little and I hedged around the question and suggested we hang out at the next football game instead, he agreed.

I know you can't give me a definite answer on this, but I so pathetically over my head, never had a boyfriend. Does he want just sex or a relationship, in your opinion and how should I make progress with this?

-Over My Head Advice
It's my opinion that he is after sex.

Most of the things you described make it seem that way.

If he wanted a relationship, he wouldn't act the way he is.

Good luck! George

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

Visitor Submitted Responses
Our RomanceClass visitors have chimed in with thoughts on this question and answer. Click on a link below to read what their solutions are!

Speak Your Mind - Share your Thoughts on this Question!

Full List of FlirtingClass Answers