Getting Into Things - When Should you Kiss?

Be Sure YOU Want To
There is a huge amount of pressure that goes along with the First Time you kiss someone. Media bombards people with messages, parents give messages, friends give messages. Try to tune ALL of those out, and think about yourself. How do you feel about it? How do you feel about your relationship? Will your decision be one that makes you proud?

You need to do what is best for *you*. Do not let yourself be pressured into anything.

Work Up to It
Don't just go in to kiss someone you haven't even touched before. Read all of the Advice on Getting Close to build up the comfort level between you two. When you kiss you don't want her nervous about your hand on her arm, before you even get your lips near her!

Set a Relaxed Scene
You´re going to probably be nervous the first time just because it *is* the first time. Plan the surrounding time and situation to be as comforting as possible. Do it somewhere quiet, not the doorstep of your date's house! Make sure no little brothers or sisters or friends are running around. Give yourself time so you're not rushed. If you are comfortable, everything else becomes that much better.

Keep Expectations Reasonable
Media gives us HUGE expectations for the first time. There will be bells ringing, fireworks exploding. Remember, this is a personal expression between just you two. Truly learning to please each other will evolve over a lifetime. The first time is just the first step - in hopefully a long series of steps bringing you closer together.

First Kiss - General Hints
How do I kiss him/her for the first time?
*Softly and slowly. You don´t want to bump faces on your first time out. A sweet brush of lips feels good whether it´s your first time or your hundred and first time.
*Remember that a kiss is a very sensory act. You´ll be close enough to breath the person in, to feel their skin against yours. Side note - be sure you showered earlier!
*Relax!
*Be aware of your partner. Is he/she leaning in or holding back waiting for you to move? If they´re leaning in, you can gently lay one hand against their cheek and lean to meet their lips.
*Begin with your lips closed. Keep it soft and light. Leave the fancy stuff for later on - the first kiss is about savoring the *moment* of how special it is that you are now at the kiss.

First Kiss - Specific Instructions
First, everybody kisses differently. And everybody likes to be kissed differently! So your true aim is to find out what style YOU enjoy, and then what style your MATE enjoys and how to meld the two. Some like gentle kisses. Some like passionate kisses. Some like dry kisses. Some like wet, sloppy kisses.

Your first kisses should be slow, langorous, gentle. They're a progression from the hug, and a way of furthering the touch in a more intimate way. You should already be comfortable with the hug with this person, and comfortable standing close face to face. So now the only 'new' thing you're introducing is the kiss. When you're near the person (standing or sitting) and ready for the kiss, it's good to start with a cheek-kiss. That's an "innocent kiss" and a "you're special" move. Either the boy OR the girl can do this. Squeezing his/her hand at the same time is another way of saying "you're special". You can see if your partner likes this, or feels uncomfortable. If they're uncomfortable, no big deal, just stay at that level until the comfort comes back again, maybe in a few days or a week or two.

But let's say you both enjoy the cheek-kiss and are ready for more. You already have the "it's ok to kiss" mentality down now, which is good. So now instead of going for the cheek, go for the lips. Again, be soft. Press your lips gently against your partner's, and savor the sensation of their skin against your own. Just hold it for a few moments, then release.

Once you're comfortable with the basic kiss, you can move on to other styles!