Am I Still a Virgin?

Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
Hi I am a teen under the age of 18, and i have two questions to ask regarding sex. Well for my first question i want to know if i am still a virgin. About a week ago i was at my boyfrien's house, and well we started to do all the typical common things that b/f and g/f do (hugh, kiss, smooch ect)but it started to go a little too far where it got to the point where my panties were off, so he started fingering me, and before i knew it, his penis was inside of me. I didnt want to tell him to stop because i didnt want to make him feel bad, but after about 10 minutes i told him to stop because i didnt really feel comfortable. Now everscince that day my question is, am i stil a virgin? It might seem like a stupid question to ask after what i just explained, but the thing is that i didnt bleed, therefore I assume that my cherry didnt pop, and i believe that if your cherry dosent pop then you are stil a virgin. Another thing is that i didnt really feel much pain at all, so i think that the penis didnt go all the way through. Well as for my first question that's about it.

My second question, how is a guy able to notice if the girl he is having sex with, is a virgin or not?

Well that is about it for my questions, thank you for taking the time to read. Advice
Not all girls have a hymen that is intact. A hymen is just a thin piece of skin that helps keep your vagina safe from infection. Lots of girls have it break during bike riding, horseback riding, etc. If a male penis was in your vagina, you are not a virgin. The sole reason virginity was important was that it made the girl 'at risk of pregnancy'. A guy wanted to marry a virgin to guarantee 100% that any child born - even if it was under 9 months from when THEY had sex - was truly his. Other than that, it really has no meaning. In modern times it's a carry over from those old paternity obsessions in guys. You note nobody ever cared if the GUY was a virgin.

So yes, you're not a virgin. You should have told him to stop! You let people do things to you because you don't want to upset them - even when these things could get you pregnant or give you a deadly sexual disease?? Nobody else is going to take care of you. YOU have to take care of you.

Yes, if you have sex with another guy, it'll be pretty obvious you do not have a hymen any more. Are you going to lie to him and try to pretend you're a virgin? That is really an unsound way to handle a relationship. And if you are dating a guy that obsesses about having you "First" - it might be time to tell him to get some higher priorities in life.

-- from Lisa
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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