What to do/think of this guy?
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
So, I'm a study abroad student for a year and this JCR (In charge of 1st year students) guy in England has been so nice to me for a week straight since I got here. I know it's not the JCR's job to accomodate nonfreshman because since I'm a 3rd year, they don't treat me like a first year student. He has been coming to my window knocking and letting me know the upcoming events and asking me to go each time. Whenever i go with him, he will introduce me to other people. And these people will tell me that he likes me.
6 days later, he told me I should drink because that's their culture and that he promised that he would take care of me when I drink. So I did and he was no where to be found. I guess he was also drunk. So, my floormates took care of me for the night.
The following day, word came out and he felt bad so when I went to the club with my friends, he was there. He was trying to dance with me but I just danced with other people. So I rejected him. Then he left and came back few minutes later to try and dance with me again. This happened like 5 times in a row! My friends who saw this were like, "Do you like him? he looks really jealous every time you dance with other guys. Also, he's looking out for you now." When I went to the bar to drink water, he approached me and said "Don't drink too much" and walked away. Then when I came back to the dance floor, he came to me and just danced with me and I gave in. We danced and we left together.
Outside the club, it was raining and I had a coat and he was like "put your coat on! You'll get sick!" And i was too excited about the rain to put the coat on. So i gave him my coat because he was really cold, and he insisted I should get in the coat with him cuz i'll get a cold. We got on the bus together, walked into my room and told me "Well, my job here is done, sorry for the other night, and i'm trying to make up for it now."
We kissed and did sexual things except for intercourse because I told him that I don't have sex with a guy until I'm in a relationship with them. He understood and told me that i'm hard to get and a tease and not like English girls who can just get after one day. But with me, it's like a week and haven't even got the entire package!
He slept on my bed and we cuddled.
The next morning, he put on some clothes and was like "Well, my job here is done. Don't text me cuz i only have limited text messages. I won't see you in the next few days since I'm going to try to sort out this whole relationship thing. Well, bye" and left my room.
I'm confused. I didn't mean when I say I can't have sex until I'm in a relationship that I actually want to be in a relationship with him. I just want to have fun. I asked my other friends and they are like I shouldn't have said that, i should have said "No sex until I get to know you better" instead. SHIT! 2 days later and no phone call and haven't seen him since. I just wished I could go back to when it was....HELP!!! What do I do?! What do you think? Opinions? I really like him....
It seems to me that he wanted you for intercourse. Obviously he liked you too but intercourse was his main interest.
Given his job, he can get sex whenever he wants so unless he falls for you and is willing to have a relationship with you he is not going to contact you.
I doubt if you can go back to where it was before because he doesn't think the same way about you anymore.
If you are serious about not having intercourse without first having a relationship, then my advice is to forget about him. Why waste your time on someone who doesn't respect your values?
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at FlirtingClass.com
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