Second Time

Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and we're really close. Around a month ago we decided to have sex. We talked about it, used protection, and were completely comfortable with losing our virginity to each other. Yet when the time came it hurt me so much that we had to stop. He was really sweet about it and wasn't angry at all. We really haven't talked about it since, it made me feel like I ruined everything and he probably could tell that I wasn't feeling so great about it. I want to try to have sex with him again but I'm scared that it'll have the same outcome. How can I make sure that things go better the next time? Advice
Try again and be sure that you are ready for intercourse. Use foreplay to get lubricated and if that doesn't work, use K-Y jelly which you can purchase at a drug store. Put the jelly on the condom too.

If you still have problems with penetration, ask your gynecologist for an opinion about your hymen. Some are so tough that they need assistance from the doctor to break through them.

If your hymen broke during your initial intercourse then the pain probably came from the area which was torn. In that case, perhaps it has healed by now.

These things are not always easy, but don't give up.

Good luck! George.

-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at

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