I'm jealous about everything, and its ruining our relationship
Visitor's Question from a 13-20 year old Female
im sorry bout the lenght, but i neeeeed help, pleaseeee =[
okay, well my boyfriend and i have been dating for 4-months so far. and like when it first started out it was great! like he was soo nice and like thoughtful, attentitive and i dont know jsut great. and then like he told me he feels so comfortable around me and im the only one he can really be himself around, and iwas soo happy that he would like feel that way, and only around me. and then like one night on the phone, we were talking about our X's and stuff we have done with them and then i jsut started getting jealous from there. like and his X, he dated for a year and they live next door to each other andthere sisters are friends and as well as thier parents, and like they are taking Drivers Ed togetehr now too, and that kinda botherfs me that they are together like al the time, and they get rides to school with eachother to. and then like i got over them. and i love him so much like idont know what id do without him. and then last weekend he got a concuison and like since last saturday he hasnt been himself, at all. like he wont share how he feels anymore, and like he thinks i have no life, jsut becuase idont hangout likew ith my friendsalot, like ughh it makes me so mad. and i cry alot becuase of him, like alll the time, i jsut cant help it im so emotional. Ok so let me get on with the question.
Well Monday iwas just getting jealous of his hook up, from the summer like she chated on her boyfriend with him, like she gave hi ma blowjob and stuff but likeshe flirts with him to make me upset. but anyways. on the phone that night he goes, well i think we fight alot, and like i dont want to make u unhappy, and im like well its not u its me you know how i get with jealousy, and he goes but i obviously must b doing something wrong if ur crying alot. and then like i told him out i feel, like how care about him, like im really attached to him, and he used to say like it make but he hasnt lately, like im sooo happy we r together and stuff. But then he goes well if i broke up or we broke up i wouldnt want u to like kill your self, and im like welll im not like obsessed with u!! and hes like yea, but i kind am, like all i want to do is hangout with him. and thne like the next day at school he was like weird, like distant, like he didnt want to b around me. so then later that night on the phone i was like do u really want to be with me and he was like ya. but lately his answers havent been so beleiving. but i jsut ignored it, like theres nothing else i can do. and then we had like plans to hangout the next day. but he sed he was hanging out with his friend but like iwasnt mad, he doesnt get to hangout with this friend alot so iwas l ike hahha ok have fun =]. and then like at hte end of the day, while im waiting for my mom to pick me up he always comes over to see me, but like he didnt and i txted him and was like where are u, and he sed im with _____. then he comes out with all these girls like flirting and laughing, pushing and stuff and i jsut trun around becuz idont want to see it. and hten he comes over to me and was like heyy and i was like hi and then i go soo ur going with her? ( a girl that i dont like cuz shes a slut anad flirts with EVERYONE) and hes like yea, iwas like umm i thought uwere going with ur friend and he goes ya we rm we are going to her house and iwas like umm, u didnt tel lme and he goes well ididnt want u to freak out and iwas like well i would have felt better if u told me in the 1st place i would have understood and then the girl walks by and was like (his name) lets go!!! and then he kisses me and walks away. and hten iget into the car crying and my mom gets all upset becuz she doesnt like to hear me crying about him. when iget home he txts me and asked me if iwas upset and iwas like no ( lying, becuz idont want us to break up) and then he goes uwere crying, and hten isaid, no iwasnt =] (lying again) and then when he got home atr 9 we just talked and i asked him again. do u want to be with me and he sed yes. and then we moved on and talked aobut other stuff. and he came over the next day(today) and my mom was dropping him off at D.E at 6:50, like he asked then he asked me to ask my mom if i could ask her to drop him off at 630 and iwas fine wit that. then like he kepy txtingthe girl idont like and his friend, and then like evverytime she sent hi ma txt andhe read it, he smiled, and i hatee that smile it makes me sick!!! and like everytime he txted back he would like turn the screen away from me, like he was hiding something. so ignored that. and like he wouldnt like kiss me today or anything and then he goes can u drop me off at 6 now i need to hangout with my friend and iwas like ummm ok? and hesl ike waht? and im like well it doesnt seem like you want to hangout with me anymre, and hes like no.. and that was it.
and like everyone like since we have been dating has been like ohh myyyy, (his name) is flirting with so and so and im jsut so tried of hearing it i love him alot and id rather not know it then hear about it from someone other than him. and i feel like im walking on glass around him, idont want to say the wrong thing or something, i dont wan thim to break up with me, i jsut want to start over. and it jsut like really hurts my, heart the way he has been acting toward me it really hurts. and im self concious of myself becuz like all the girls he has dated arel ike a double zero and im a 4 and idont knowi feel out of place. and we have done alot of "stuff" and idont want it to be like all a waste.
please help i dont knw what to do! =[
sorry about the lenght, i jsut had alot to say, and iwanted to make sureu understood everything that has happend
Since he said he doesn't want to hang out with you anymore, that means he has broken up with you.
You should call him and tell him you don't want to break up and that you won't be jealous anymore. This won't be easy to do because jealousy is a very difficult emotion to overcome.
You have to learn to trust him and if you can't trust him then you should let him go because he is no good for you. But still you have to work on not being jealous. Here is a webpage on trusting:
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at FlirtingClass.com
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