We need a good advice, its a nice relationship
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Male
ok, the last year i "fell in love" with a girl, and i wrote like 3 letters to her, and many stuff happendend ( sorry if my english is bad ) but she keep on telling me that no, for many time, for a year, ok... then well i was so sick of being just sad becouse of love, so i decided to leave her alone, or just to forget her, and one day i told her that i will forget her. in that time ( the last year, and also the last/last year ) we... become good friends, and i really lisented to her, i enjoyed her company, and also she did with me. so when i told her that i was going to forget her and find another girl, becouse i couldnt be trying to get her love forever ( a "no" its painfull ) she was shocked, and then like a week later she was really different and then someday she told me that yeah that she wanted to be my girlfriend. it took too long becouse she is a very unique girl, quite depressive, she also says she is insecure, she always was worried that if we became a couple i will be painfull for both of us... also well i smoke, and i smoke pot, but i am not a bad guy, i mean i go to college and i am a good student, i study chemistry ( she also does, she get in college at the same time with me ) anyway i smoke pot, for some time she said that that was a huge problem that wont let us be a couple, that was one of the reasons she didnt said to me "yes", well, in the last december we went to holidays, so i invited her to a farm to be 2 days there, we went ( with my father, grandma, and the woman of my father ) and we just get out of the house and walked in the night and then we arrive to a lake and we started to talk, then the kiss came, and we became a couple, sooooo ( i am telling you all these becouse i want you to have an IDEA of these, and so the answer of my question could be more "good " to me .... ok ) but then she left to her home in other city, and well i called her many times, and both of us sent letters, emails ... and i went to her city, now we are back in college...
Ok, i am afraid of some stuff, she is a year older that me, i think sometimes i am just like a kid, these days i have been thinking i need just to dont worry about what i had do, and what i am going to do and just live my present without anyregrets, at least try to do that. i know she is more mature that me, i dont know how much it matters................. i feel i am quite like a sick person... and she is a girl that i really admire, she also tell to me that, but well. i think i am a "sick" person well, its just that i tend to worry a lot about stuff, and i happends becouse i am with her, becouse in the time i decided to forget her i didnt worry about anything and i was quite like "free" but i guess i dont waant to lose her so i worry about the stuff, jelousy or if i am good enough, or if i am too dramatic, well ... i havent see her over the last 15 days ( holidays ) i guess that if we dont see each other and if we dont talk for a while at least 2 times a week or something i will be like these... or maybe its just me. hell........... also well i masturbate myself, it isnt wrong, i know, and i dont think about her in that moment, i really dont "use" her for that, i just that i am a man and i enjoy the idea of sex, its sensual its nice, but..... i feel guilty ... i know she will get like "mad" if she realize that i masturbate. well i dont know i just do it. i quite miss when i was trying to forget her, its just that i didnt worry about all these, ........ maybe she is feeling the same....... we have spend a lot of time thogether, and ... i sometimes i think its all a lie, from her and from me, maybe i dont have self-love ( .. ) i am just trying to realize that i have to live the present, and dont worry about anything, and just try to do my best. she told me that since the first kiss she is really geting into the relationship in a serious way ...
Even she told me that i am sencible
Well my parent are divorced
I smoke pot, and i enjoy it, but sometimes many people just "run away" hope you get it
Well any advice?
i really enjoy writting stuff, it helps me to understand what i want, what i fear, i just saw this page and did this but i tend to writte my ideas maybe to relax
anyway thanks ...
last detail, she used to tell me that i fell in love with her becouse she was trying to be a nice person but in the deep she is totally different, and thats why she was afraid of be with me, becouse i will discover bad stuff in her... i guess i feel like the same, that i am just a guy, who is nice, but that holds dark secrets and is quite inmature ( she also told me that in a letter, that she was inmature and not well prepared to be with someone like me, hell i feel the same, and i really like her, she is my best friend and i am her best friends, maybe we just felt so dammm lonely and crazy in these holidays ) dont know what to think, at least i realize the meaning of that fear of her, i feel the same...
Most everyone has "dark secrets" inside them.
Try to move your relationship ahead by continuing to share ideas, share feelings, and share affection. You have a lot to grow in all of these areas. Especially affection. Maybe you should ask her to masturbate you ("hand job").
Neither of you appear to me as being immature. And to whatever extent you are, you are maturing well.
Good luck!! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at FlirtingClass.com
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