What Is This???
Visitor's Question from a 31-40 year old Female
Okayyyyy. I have been good friends with this special guy for going on a year now. I was introduced to him through my brother-in-law.The first night we ever hung out, we made out...and he called everyday for 2 months after. I asked him if he wanted to see me or go out or something after 2 months of calling, and he said he never had intentions of dating. That made me mad, so we went nearly 6 months without talking. Well, this summer I found him on Myspace and added him. He acted like nothing bad had ever happened between us, which relieved me. So, I figured this was a great start to a nice, platonic relationship. I even went to see him, just to catch up and just see him, since I hadn't in a while. And it was exactly how I thought it'd be: platonic relations. We just hugged after I left, a friend even called and he was like, "yeah, she's just a friend." So, I'm thinking friends, good! Wellll, we don't talk on the phone, we communicate on Myspace...and he would send me messages EVERYDAY literally after then. Being so flirtatious, he always compliments the way I look, and just other various things. Well, on Halloween, I go to the club, we had a little too much to drink, start dancing and making out, and then go back to a friend's apartment and have drunk sex. It was rather short and to-the-point. I couldn't believe it...I didn't know what to think. I thought he was just picking with me when he was being sexually suggestive in his messages! Like a silly friend! On New Years Eve, I bump into him at the club again...it was a surprise because I didn't call and tell him I was comin' into town. We were sober this time, and we go through the routine again. Dancing, and he kisses, deeply...We end up staying the night together. We had sex for 2 hours, and spent the last hour making out and just loving on each other. He was being sweet and romantic, not like a fuck-buddy would treat you. It was so weird...I like him so much, I've liked him for a year now. And I don't know what to think about all this. When he took me to my car, we were just picking and bullshitting with each other...He was telling me he had to explain something to this girl that won't leave him alone (about me and him), and he was telling me all how annoyed he was with her. He said he liked me...I just don't know what to think. He lives an hour away from me, however I will be moving over there (in his town, that is) in August 2007. We're both in college, just different ones. We will be at the same one together in the fall. Do you think he's just using me for sex? Or what? I just don't understand who flirts and fights with me that much and has sex with me, would just want to be friends...however, that was a year ago when he said that...maybe he's really developed feelings?
You are trying to figure out what's going on in his mind.
Instead of guessing and wondering, why not ask the guy to tell you how he feels. Part of his behavior sounds like he is using you for sex, but other parts sound like he is a little more serious.
He's the only one who knows, so ask him.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at FlirtingClass.com
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