Did he just use me for sex?
Visitor's Question from a 21-30 year old Female
Okay..Well me and this guy went out for like 2 or 3 months bout 2 yrs ago and i told him i didnt want to say the word love..and like a month n a half into the relationship he tells me he loves me..and that he would NEVER hurt me..and then he wrapped his arms around me. So i thought maybe me n him just might last. We spent all the time together and when we werent together we were online talking or on the phone. Well we broke up..b/c of a whole lot of ppl tellin me he was cheatin on me.But he said the reason was i got mad to easy. So we stopped talking for a while, bc i just couldnt stand to talk to him it just hurt so much. but 6 months after the break we started talking again and i started to like him. and then i dont know what really happened but we stopped talking. So, couple months ago we start talkin online again. Well me n him always wanted to get drunk together so one night i was online and my brother baught me some liquor and i invited him over and this was the first time i have talked to him face to face in 2 years so it was a big deal for me. Well he came over bout 11 that night and we were drinkin but we werent drunk..just a bit typsy so we decide to watch a movie in the livin room..and me n him never WATCH the movie..if u understand me. so we were in there and he starts kissin my neck and i just kept pullin away. and then he kissed me and i didnt really kiss back. he asked why i couldnt kiss him anymore and i was like i dont know why cant i kiss u anymore. so he kisses me n i kiss back and then we make out a bit..5 to 10 mins and he goes i still love you. and i said no u are lying u dont still love me. and he said then why do i still talk to you. and i said bc we r friends. so we start makin out..and we start fullin around like we use to and then we go to my moms room on the other side of the house away from my bro and his wife. but we go in there lock the door, lights off and we start fullin around some more. and he pulls this condom out of his pocket that he found in my bro's room and he hands it to me. and i said no..and rolled over he said come on. and i said no. and i wanted to i really did, but i didnt want to get hurt. but i thought bout it and i was like well he said he still loved me even though he might b lying so i thought maybe if i did it, we might start a new relationship and plus if i had a choice to lose it to anyone it would b him. so i said yeh. and then it goes in like 7 8 times and it hurts and then it goes down bc some guys cant keep a hard on if there life depends on it when there drunk. so can u help me. please i want to know if you think he just used me for sex. or if some way some how he still cares for me. and i was a virgin and he knows it...o and by the way on v-day like 4 days later he said that he was just drunk off his ass so not to really count on what he says. but i know he wasnt that drunk bc i had more than him and i wasnt that drunk. and now he trys comin over but it always cancels or he wants me to go over there w/ my moms car. Please help..
Desperate need of help
In my opinion he just used you for sex. And you used him too.
He came over after not seeing you for a long time-- two years.
You got drunk together and one thing led to another. You had a decision to make and decided to sleep with him. Neither one of you used the other. I don't get the sense that you have really strong feelings for him and he probably doesn't have strong feelings for you.
So just chalk it up to a night of drunken experimentation.
Good luck! George
-- from George
One of Your Friendly Advisors at FlirtingClass.com
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